He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
