school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
