Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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