So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
