Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize