We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
