There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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