People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
