it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
