I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
