If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
