would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize