i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
dude. I can hear the air.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
