Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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