My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
