Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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