is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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