all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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