i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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