He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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