i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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