I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
home. puking in laundry basket.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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