you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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