Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
