either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
