i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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