Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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