i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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