I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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