Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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