My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
