True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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