who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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