I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize