It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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