I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
