Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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