oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I believe in your delicious
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
