Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
