My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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