Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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