i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize