No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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