Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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