just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
