Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
