how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
