Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
