I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
