I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
