His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Houston, we have a squirter
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
