I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
