You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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