Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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