Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize