Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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