My Higher Power is John Stamos
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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