I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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