In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize