It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
