Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
