i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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