i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
