if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
