Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
