Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize