I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
