WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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