just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
