All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
